Personal Relationships in the Classroom

Our personal lives are items of great interest to our students. They want to find out things about you and they are immediately entranced by anything you have to tell them about yourself. Students sometimes view their teachers and professors as only that. They don't stop to think about the personal life, hobbies, or family of their teachers. When these things are brought up in conversation, the student becomes surprised to hear that Mr. Smith has his pilots license or that Mrs. Scott runs marathons on the weekends. Teachers are put into this box that only deals with educational experiences and is in no way related to after school. As teachers we are not supposed to bring much of our personal lives into the classroom. We have to present an unbiased stance on politics and religion, and even though we might feel strongly about such subjects it is regarded as inappropriate to talk about such things with our students.

The relationship between a student and teacher is one that has certain boundaries. There are unspoken lines that cannot be crossed. As a teacher it is our job to educate our students. Some people go as far to say that we are not to be their friends, we are only there to educate. I have a hard time agreeing with this statement. I am a friendly person, and I like to make connections with people. I understand perfectly the boundaries that a student/teacher relationship has, but I also feel that in order to be a good teacher we have to bring ourselves down from this pedestal of the higher being. The idea that "I have more knowledge than you, and I am only here to make sure you learn it" doesn't sit well with me. I was once and in fact still am in the position of student. However, looking at it in a hindsight view, I certainly didn't want to learn from anyone who had an attitude or thought they were better than me. To me its all in the approach, and all in the connections a teacher makes with a student.

I have mixed feelings about this relationship idea. In the movie "Half Nelson", I was uncomfortable with the relationship the teacher had with his student. To my way of thinking it completely crossed those boundaries and even influenced that student in ways she could never see. The teacher was heavily involved with drug use, but at the same time was telling the student to stay away from drugs. In a sense he was trying to save her from falling into what he had fallen into. However, what good is the teachers advice if he can't even follow it himself. What impact will he make on the student by telling her that, if she witnesses that he can't even attempt to clean up his own life.

I also feel that if teachers don't make personal connections with students, real learning will not fully take place. If the student is uncomfortable in a classroom or feels vulnerable they will not open themselves up to new experiences. It is when they feel a bond of trust or a connection to a teacher that they open up the parts of them that they close off to others. Meaningful learning can occur in this way and therefore I feel that personal connections are needed. This is an issue I need to work out in my own mind, and it requires a lot of thought and really finding a place where I am comfortable. I disagree with the movie, for moral and ethical reasons but I agree that personal connections need to be made. As confusing as it sounds in writing, it makes sense in my own head. As long as I create meaningful musical experiences for my students and don't cross any boundaries I will be happy.